Dear Reader,

How quickly one week flies! It feels like I sat down to write the first ‘Dear Reader,’ letter just yesterday. I had planned to write a blog post every day but it didn’t turn out like that. And that’s fine. I’ve been trying to be more flexible and flow along with life. My new mantra is; whatever happens, that’s what was always meant to happen.

I think all humans like making plans. Me personally, I’ve been making elaborate plans since I was 15 years old. And I would get really upset whenever anything derailed my plan even a little bit. This strategy never really worked for me but it still took me more than 2 decades to stop repeating the same mistake.

Then, for a few years, I completely stopped making any plans at all. My depression made it hard to think beyond a couple of days anyway. I tried to live one day at a time and even the day wasn’t planned out in detail. I just wanted to get through it without feeling too low and getting at least a few productive things done. My priorities changed as well. Getting some kind of fitness into my day became the highest priority. Work, creativity etc. took a back seat.

In a way, my depression helped me learn this lesson, that you can’t plan out every minute of your day, week, month and year. It makes me happy to find something to be grateful for, even for the worst time of my life. I think that’s a good way to accept the past and move on. I used to believe that everything happens for a reason, even if we can’t always understand what that reason is. I don’t believe this anymore. I think the universe is much too chaotic for it all to make some sort of sense to our tiny human minds. But learning some kind of lesson from the bad parts of your past and being grateful for that time, still makes sense to me.

Now that I’m feeling better, the old systems of thought are coming back. Maybe I should start setting some goals? Maybe I should have deadlines? Maybe a plan is required to maximize my productivity! I’m like a junkie fresh out of the rehab. Wanting to make some creative stuff and perhaps earn some money, is for me like an ex-junkie hanging out with the same old friends in the same old joints. I have to be careful that I don’t fall back in the same routine of making elaborate plans and getting disappointed when things inevitably don’t turn out like I expected.

That’s it for this week’s letter. I don’t know if this provided you with any value but these are the kinds of letters I want to write. I just want to sit and write whatever comes to my mind. I think there is some value in receiving letters like these in our time when newsletters are usually about selling one or the other thing to the reader. These, I hope, are like a meaningless letter you receive from a friend. Sometimes there’s value in meaningless things.

Until next week,

Rudya Aditya